Friday 20 May 2011

"Shaggy, Matty, Greasy, Oily . . ."


About 4 weeks ago I made THE most diastrous hairstyle decision since I was about eleven and decided I wanted to look like Buffy.
11 year old obese females from Lancashire are NEVER going to look like Sarah Michelle Gellar, especially when she has naturally straight and obedient hair, and they have something like a cross between a jew-fro and a springer spaniel.

Having not learned from my previous mistakes I decided that now would be a good time to get a fringe.
I've had many fringes before, but these have been mainly your yellow bellied kind, a chicken fringe if you will, as they've always been to the side.
Over Easter, I went for a full blown, blunt edge, eye-lash skimming, bloody awful fringe.

FML.

Reasons why this was a bad decision.

1) My hair has a natural side parting. The fring tends to part like lopsided curtains.
2)When it rains or I exercise (Yeah! I do that now!) it transforms itself into a mess of curls.
3)IT MAKES THE MOON FACE MOONIER!

Seriously! I didn't think number three was even possible. Turns out, it is.

The fringe isn't the only issue.
I went with specific instructions to the hairdresser.
"No more than 2 and a half inches off the bottom, please."

Bearing in mind my hair fell about three inches below my chest, this would have kept its length and balanced out the fringe:moon ratio for my face.

Turns out she obviously couldn't fathom what 2 and a half inches looked like as now my hair falls about half an inch above my tits.
Nae. Happy.

Apologies for a fairly boring post, but where the hell else am I supposed to vent my rage and ten to one in the morning?

I'm looking at wigs as we speak.
Great rates for cancer patients, but I'm not sure it's that serious an issue.
Mine'll grow back at least.