"I've Packed My Bags and I'm Leaving Nothing Behind. . ."

Some disturbing news reached my ears during Thursday's "Wizard of Oz" rehearsal.

When Mr Producer, wasn't making useless suggestions ("Does the yellow brick road need to be yellow? And do you HAVE to HAVE ruby slippers?") Petite Rouge took me to one side and asked me if I was aware of the latest "Twat" revelation.

"He's leaving you know?"

I beg your pardon excuse moi and come again?
Leaving?

Apparently, he's jetting off to London to be with "The Girlfriend."

It seems that the long distance relationship has proved to be too much and the right job has come along and he'd be stupid not to take it.

Now correct me if I'm wrong but . . .

Isn't he gay?

I mean, all the signs are there amigos!
Male Pattern Baldness, Fey Tendencies, A Passion for The Arts, Enjoyment of Circus Performance, A Girlfriend Who Lives A Long Way Away not to mention the friggin' book!

Come along! It's not like all of the above scream HETEROSEXUAL is it?
And, I'm sorry to say it but, why would you leave Scumshaw?

It's the easiest pissing place to work in the world surely?

Personally I reckon it's all a scam.
He's been rejected by everyone on the Northern gay scene and is having to resort to the South for new options.

Anyway, just a quick question.

Isn't the Yellow Brick road an integral part of L Frank Baum's classic?

Or is that just me bing a diva?