Monday 14 December 2009

"Nobody Screws, Somebody Who's, Legally Blonde. . ."


Apparently, studying Law used to be up there with studying medecine in the "Prestige League" but that was before every Tom, Dick and Polytechnic started offering it as a degree level course. Now, literally anyone can blag their way onto a course and there's so many different ones (LLB/BA/Diploma) that no one actually gives a shit anymore. According to the the latest legal journals (yes I've read them, I spend half my life these days in the friggin' library in between hangovers) law firms are now looking for students who've pursued an interest of their's as a degree and later converted to law, with the intense 1 year conversion course before they take the DLP (Diploma of Legal Practice) in Scotland and the LPC (Legal Practice Course) in England, as it means that job candidates will have a wider amount of knowledge. The list of preferred subjects includes (seriously) History of Art, English literature and 20th century studies.

Excuse me?

You're telling me that I could have been spared 4 years of MIND NUMBINGLY BORING lectures on the importance of delegated legislation, Donoghue v Stephenson and Delictual feckin' liability and sat around reading the works of Charles Dickens instead whilst essentially coming out of Uni with a more worthwhile qualification to the legal industry?
Not only that but I would have been spared the TORTURE of the cliche law students, most of whom fall into one of three categories:

1) The Rich Git/Git-ess

Mummy and Daddy are paying their little Angel's way, sending them care packages including smoked salmon (I kid ye not) and emergency cheques, which quickly get spent on Jack Wills merchandise or reservations at Soprano's or behind the VIP bar at Tiger. The Rich Git/Git-ess do not need to study, their parents get on famously with the course leaders and have given a large donation to the Taylor Library so it can afford some new tables to give the poor kids somewhere to study. They sit on FaceBook during lectures on their brand new netbooks and contirbute to conversation monosyllabic expressions such as "Ya" "Hmmm" and "Right." They control the law society, and make the law ball so expensive anyone who doesn't own half of the home counties can't afford to go. I don't like them.

2) The Activist

They buy all their clothes from people tree, don't believe in deodrant and are studying law to help the ruddy planet. They're your stereotypical hippies and when they're not protesting against the campus recycling policy or holding up the queue in Tikki Cafe ("WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE SOYA MILK?!") you can find them lecturing the lecturers on international environment laws out on the corridor. On the unfortunate occasion that you find yourself sat amongst a group of them in a 3 hour public law lecture you will be bored to death whilst they fill any pauses with talk about themselves and their travels. You will hear the phrase "y'know" more times than you care to remember but enough times to know that you want to actually consider throwing yourself from the top of the MacRobert building. (To my non-aberdonians, it's bloody high.)

3) The Know it Alls

Their hands are permanently raised. They've done all the required reading and then some. They spend hour long tutorials arguing with the tutor on the finite complications of replacing "and" with "or." They shoot daggers at you for answering a question. They smirk when you get it wrong and bristle when you get it right. Wankers. The lot of em. You do not want to get stuck with a bunch of these when you're working on a group report worth 25% of your final mark.


Seriously???
It's a bloody good job I don't want to actually be a lawyer.
Could you imagine strolling into an interview after four years of uni then two years on the DLP to be asked:

"So what can you tell me about Van Gogh?"
"Ermmm, he painted some daffodils or was it sunflowers?"
"Ahhh, that's the trouble with Law students these days, they may well possess the skills to defend Robert Mugabe or come up with a solution for the current backlog of legislation within Parliament, but they know jack shit about the history of art."

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